Teacher Gifts

Dear Dr. Per Cap:

My kids’ elementary school encourages parents to give gifts to teachers.  Jewelry, food baskets, gift cards, and cash are common.  We attend an urban public school and I’m torn because I value teachers tremendously but our finances are stretched pretty thin.  It also feels a bit manipulative.  What can I do?

Signed,

Feeling Pressured

Dear Feeling Pressured

Gone are the days when a shiny red apple was a fitting gesture of appreciation for a beloved school teacher. Teacher gifts are encouraged in many schools these days, and I’ve dealt with them myself as a parent.

I think other families share your angst and struggle with how to respond.  Teachers serve an invaluable role in our communities, but so do many other hardworking professionals to whom extra compensation, in what could be considered a gratuity or tip, isn’t encouraged or expected.

For guidance I reached out to a good friend who has spent more than 30 years as a classroom teacher.  His response was very straightforward when he said he thought teacher gifts are unethical because some families have more to spend than others.

He taps into what many people fear about teacher gifts but are afraid to ask.  Will my child receive extra attention and privileges if we give their teacher a gift?  Or perhaps more importantly, will my child be treated worse if we don’t give a gift?

It’s no secret that teaching in the U.S. isn’t a high paying profession.  But that doesn’t mean it’s a parent’s job to dig deep into your pockets to make up the disparity.

Here’s how I handled it.  I bought my daughter’s teachers passes to an arboretum where we live.  It’s a non-profit that aligns with our family’s values by offering gardens, walking and mountain biking trails, a museum, and educational programs to the local community.  This decision just made a lot more sense to me than heading to the mall or buying a gift online.  Moreover, the teachers seemed genuinely appreciative of the unique approach.

I recommend a similar gesture. Think about non-profits, charities, or other organizations in your area that offer services or programs that align with your values.  Then buy a membership, a pass, or make a donation on behalf of a teacher.    Don’t pay any more than you’re comfortable spending and don’t fuss over how much other parents spend either.  Finally, remember this old quote “Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching kids what counts is best.”

Ask Dr. Per Cap is a program funded by First Nations Development Institute with assistance from the FINRA Investor Education Foundation. For more information, visit www.firstnations.org. To send a question to Dr. Per Cap, email askdrpercap@firstnations.org.